Are These Disgusting Halloween Candies Even Real?

Get ready to squirm. These barbaric Halloween treats are absolutely real, and they take the gross-out factor one step further than one step too far.

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Gummy Boogers… with “Salty” Aftertaste?

That’s right. Dried nasal mucus now comes in three flavors with equally vulgar names like Snottermelon, Sour Green Boogy, and Lemon Loogy. Each is a different size and shape, with a squishy texture, just like a real booger. The best part is the slightly salty aftertaste—a familiar flavor to ill-mannered children (and adults) everywhere.

 

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Dead Crickets—No, Really.

You won’t find a sour gooey center or hard candy shell on these unsettling delicacies. That’s because they’re just dead crickets, no gimmicks or camera tricks. They do, however, have a flavorful coating of Bacon & Cheese, Salt & Vinegar, or Sour Cream & Onion powder. Somehow, that just makes them even more disturbing. Everyone knows dead insects are supposed to be coated in chocolate (more on that later).

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Poop that’s a little TOO Realistic

Thankfully, this one is actuallya gimmick. The three-inch turds are really just molded milk chocolate. What makes them so unsettling is the painstaking detail that has been put into their slick, slightly porous texture. They even come in plastic doggy bags with “green grass” confetti. Removing one from the bag is sure to bring back memories of the time your dog did its business on the living room carpet.

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Crunchy Candy Pickles… that Taste like Fruit?

One can only guess who hosted the meeting where these bumpy green cucumber candies were deemed passable, let alone which participant decided they should taste sweet and fruity. But then, who among us hasn’t sunk his teeth into a juicy dill pickle and thought, “If only this tasted more like fruit”? Okay, maybe none of us have ever thought that. It doesn’t help that the candies themselves look more like green excrement than any kind of gourd… or fruit, for that matter.

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Scorpion Lollipops (You Know, for the Kids)

You’d think there would be some kind of health code prohibiting the distribution of lollipops that contain real scorpions, at least to minors. There isn’t. As it turns out, the predatory arthropod is perfectly harmless and even edible once its venomous stinger has been removed (preferably after it’s been dead for a while). Of course, most of us would still turn lily-livered as soon as we felt a bumpy exoskeleton against our tongues.

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Labeled Urine Samples—Here’s to your Health!

Trained health professionals might be able to spot the gimmick here, but most of us would be fooled if we saw it out in public. Imagine finding one just sitting around in a public restroom, or left behind at a bus stop somewhere. Chances are, none of us would even dare to touch it, let alone sample its sour liquid candy contents. Of course, that’s when some astute prankster would come along and chug the whole thing right in front of us.

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Insects Laid to Rest… in Chocolate

You can improve upon almost any food by dipping it in chocolate. Twinkies? Even better dipped in the sweet brown stuff. Strips of bacon? Lather ‘em up. Chocolate covered corndogs? We might let that one slide. But insects? As in, real insects? Like, dead grub worm, slug, and grasshopper-type insects? Probably a good place to draw the line. The fact that you can just make out their curled up carcasses beneath those layers of chocolate only makes matters worse.

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Squishy Chunks of Ear Wax

Eating boogers is one thing. Most of us at least tried a sample back when we were in grade school, just to see what all the hype was about. But even then, it never occurred to us that the inner depths of our ear canals might provide a scrumptious source of food. Well, apparently it occurred to at least one person, because these gummy earwax candies exist. They come in dark yellow lumps, just like the real deal. Thankfully, they taste much better. (I mean, that’s what I heard.)

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Toilet Lollipops, Complete with Fecal Matter

Lollipops shaped like tiny toilets might be a tad distasteful, but they’d still be acceptable. Lollipops shaped like tiny toilets soiled with runny brown feces? That’s a little different. Of course, the soupy brown sewage that appears to be the mark of a person with serious giardia is really just a squirt of brown liquid candy. On the other hand, just the fact that it’s there, sitting at the bottom of each bowl, makes the experience of fishing ones tongue around in it a little too… vivid.

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Candy Ant Farms (Now with REAL Ants)

It’s just a bunch of colorful hard candy slabs designed to look like miniature ant farms, right? Well, yeah, except that those little black spots that look like ants arein fact real dead ants, entombed forever in their sugary prisons… at least, until some unsuspecting party guest comes along and licks his way to their crunchy corpses. Rest assured, these insects are as harmless and edible as all the others. Somehow, that may not be reassuring enough.

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Finally! Toxic Sludge You Can Eat

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably never had the sudden urge to break into your nearest toxic waste dump, wrench open one of the steel drums, and chug hazardous slime to your heart’s content. Then again, if you were like most people, you wouldn’t be serving miniature versions of the stuff to all the kiddies on Halloween. Yes, these are pieces of gum shaped like toxic waste barrels, and they even have their own oozing green stuff inside. Their contents may not be radioactive, but they are extremely sour.

Want to squirm even more? Check out our whole smorgasbord of revolting Halloween goodies, including gummy worm-infested brains and fish head suckers, by clicking here.

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Hurry! Shipping Deadlines are Approaching

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YOU CAN STILL ORDER IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN!
CHECK SHIPPING DEADLINES HERE.

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Know what really scares us? The idea that somewhere out there, someone has planned the perfect Halloween party, down to the very last cobweb, but forgotten to order the smorgasbord of spooky sweets that will satisfy their guests’ and trick-or-treaters’ monstrous appetites. Fortunately, there’s still time, but only for party planners who start right now. You can take the horror out of your own Halloween plans by ordering from CandyWarehouse.com, where an astounding variety of hair-raising treats are just waiting to be shipped to your door in time for the fun to begin. But hurry; it’s almost too late!

halloween-reeses-peanut-butter-cups-130057-emWhether your primary aim on Halloween night is to frighten or delight, you’ll find something to suit your particular tastes in our ghastly assortment of gratifying goodies, like these unblinking OOZing Eyeballs Marshmallow Candies with gooey candy centers, perfect for keeping an “eye” on all of the festivities.

Then again, you could fill your extra-extra-large candy bowl to the point of overflowing, and still have some leftovers for yourself, with Hershey’s 250-Piece Assortment, including fun-size favorites like Reese’s, Twizzlers, Kit Kat, Jolly Rancher, and milk chocolate Hershey’s bars.

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Now, if a passion for decorating pulses through your veins, wehave a veritable cornucopia of colorful candy corn classics, like White Chocolate Candy Corn M&M’s, Charms Candy Corn Lollipops, and Brach’s Candy Corn Packets for individual feasting.

See our entire selection of frightening favorites…if you dare!

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Show Your Fall Colors!

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hersheys-kisses-milk-chocolate-with-caramel-filling-130795-emThe air may be getting colder; the days may be getting shorter; and the leaves may be changing color. But it isn’t really autumn until you dust off your best fall candy dish and fill it with a few of your seasonal favorites. We’ve included a few of our own below, in an array of cozy colors that will dazzle visitors, thrill party guests, and remind you each and every day that one of the yummiest times of the year is in full swing!

hypno-pops-petite-orange-white-swirled-lollipops-132330You love diving into a pile of leaves this time of year; why not dive into a pile of soft and spongy autumn gummy bears, in warm fall colors like gold, copper, and amber?

mms-candy-autumn-130105-emBetter yet, share the season with all of your dinner guests, with mouthwatering after-dinner goodies like Autumn Jelly Bellies and Black Jooblers Candy Melts. Then indulge in the luxurious side of sweetness with Caramel Hershey’s Kisses and Chocolate Covered Espresso Coffee Beans before bringing some of those fantastic fall colors into the house with red, yellow, and orange Hypno Pops, perfect for decorating, sharing, and gifting.

Nothing goes better with cooler weather than a cool assortment of indulgent sweets. Throw open your doors, and let the flavors of fall rush in!

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Treats of the Living Dead

zombiecandyzombieline1Gummi-brains-im-131480Fact: Nothing protects your house from a zombie invasion like a big old heap of Halloween treats. It provides sustenance and a fool-proof means of defense — what more could you need? So whether you’re stock-piling candy for the sake of guarding yourself from the walking undead, or merely for mollifying a mob of candy-demanding costumed kiddies, we’re the one-stop-shop for all the sweets you need, delivered right to your door! (No braving the apocalyptic outside world required.)zombie-blood-im-131360

Nothing pacifies a herd of zombies quite like a helping of their favorite food! Too bad for you, that particular feast also happens to consist of your brain. Buy yourself some time by distracting them with candy brains instead, like these cerebellum lollipops! Not realistic enough? Then try this mini gushy gummy version on for size.

Strike fear into the semi-decayed hearts of those sauntering stiffs by taunting them with a pack of oozing green Zombie Blood! Sure, it’s not real, but do you think their lifeless eyes will really be able to tell?

stryker-marshmallow-shooter-131545And of course, be sure to equip yourself with weapons to tackle an assault by the nearly-departed. You can fend them off with a Dubble Bubble Big Slugger, then stick their rotting feet to the ground with its stock of tasty bubble gum! Or, use our Camo Design Marshmallow Shooter to slow their momentum by way of delicious fluffy ammunition! (Note: If said zombies do happen to be normal folks in costume, there’s always a chance they might not appreciate being pelted with marshmallows. But then again, who doesn’t like marshmallows?)

Need more? We have a whole slew of candy options here!

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Candy to Sink Your Fangs Into!

Trick-or-Treat2Trick-or-Treat-linecrazy-bones-lollipops-126123-emWhen the kiddies get all dressed up in their costumes and appear at your door this Halloween, you can’t answer their knocks empty-handed. What are you, some kind of monster? (For the sake of this analogy, we’re going to assume you’re not dressed up like an actual monster.) No, you’re going to want to reward the trick-or-treaters for all the hard work they put into their costumes this year… And there’s no better prize than a handful of their favorite candy!

First and foremost, you’re going to want to get the Halloween staples taken care of. So Kitkat-halloween-1312581-emmake sure you have plenty of snack-size packs of Candy Corn on hand! Orange Pumpkin Charm Pops are also a must. And if you want to go the spookier route, then we’ve got you covered: individually-packed Bone-Shaped Lollipops and Gummy Body Parts are perfect for passing out (and creeping out) your guests.

candy-body-parts-129395-emDiversity is a great thing when it comes to appeasing the varying tastes of your trick-or-treaters! Stock up on packs of fruity, chewy Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, and then mix up the assortment with festively orange Halloween Kit Kats! Or, just use one of these pre-constructed Hershey’s or Wonka Jumbo Packs, with quite enough variety to please all the wee ghosts and goblins this year!

There’s more where that came from! Check out all our Halloween Candy here!

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Day of the Delicious!

dayofthedaylineskeleton-head-pinata-133058Skull. Cranium. Braincase. Whatever you choose to call it, just be thankful you have one. The modest, under-skin armor spends all year tirelessly protecting the entirety of our brains — and we only give them their spotlight in the fall? Well, that hardly seems fair! That’s why we here at CandyWarehouse are striving to make the most of this opportunity to give our skulls due credit for all they do to protect our brains. We’re going all-out on skull-themed items, in an effort to celebrate Day of the Dead and marshmellow-skull-lollipops-131368-emHalloween in a way that will do all our noggin-bones proud!

This Día de los Muertos, add some sugar skull flair to the celebration with a few fancily frosted hard candy suckers! Or, if soft and squishy skulls are more your thing, take a look at the decorated marshmallow version.

Get skullishly sophisticated — give Hamlet a run for his money with your own gummi skull-filled soliloquy, or furnish old Yorick with a friend in the form of this big-boned piñata! And if you like your skulls a little more askull-and-mummy-halloween-screamers-132282-emnthropomorphic, then check out these Skull and Mummy Wands! Part candy pack, part screaming stick of terror, there’s no better tool for trick-or-treating.

Want more spooky skulls and other goodies? Check out our whole selection here!

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Crazy About Candy Corn?!

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candy-corn-pops-132293-im3Ok, ok, it’s time to set the record straight. Our name is CandyWarehouse, and we’re addicted to Candy Corn.

Seriously. We’ve got nearly three dozen varieties of the stuff — who else is fanatical enough to be able to say that? But there’s good news for all our fellow Candy Corn-aholics out there: we’re more than willing to share! Come check out our crazy huge selection and see why CandyWarehouse is the biggest name in the candy corn business!

A long-time staple of fall, there’s nothing better than the traditional taste of candy corn! But did you know it also comes in cool new forms, like this white chocolate dotted with chopped up bits of the tricolored treat? You can also experience the delight of that uniquely wonderful flavor brachs-caramel-macchiato-candy-corn-133564-ffwith these Charms Candy Corn Pops! Or find out what happens when classics collide — soft and squishy Circus Peanuts join forces with Candy Corn colors and flavors; it’s a new family tradition in the making!

hersheys-candy-corn-133487-imIf you’re feeling even more adventurous, then try out some of Brach’s most creative candy corn flavors. There’s a Caramel Macchiato version for you coffee lovers out there and a Pumpkin Spice variety for anyone who craves the seasonal favorite in a chewable candy form. We even have fruit flavored, gummy candy corn (and it’s a great thing).

There’s a variety of corn for every taste bud this Halloween. Click here to experience them all!

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Explore Bold New Worlds of Candy!

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sassy-straws-pink-132972-imAugust has been a great month for sky watchers: the yearly Perseids meteor shower showered us with wonder, and a fantastic super moon shone down across all the land. Interestingly enough, this month was also a great one for candy watchers — our warehouse received a whole onslaught of awesome new sweets to admire (and eat), as though sent from the stars above! Check out this Galaxy Pop video for some cool space facts, and then help yourself to a sneak peek into this season’s newest candy collection!galaxy-lollipops-133825-im

Pixy Stix? Please. You’ve never experienced a candy straw quite like these! Decorated in colorful swirls, Sassy Straws are part designer decor, part candy couture, and 100% perfect party material! Find them in bright blue, peppy pink, and chic black styles!

What’s the only thing better than a rice crispy treat? A GIANT rice crispy treat. Striking just the right balance between gooey, buttery, and crisp, these delicious marshmallow and rice treats come in all sorts of over-sized varieties. The birthday version even comes complete with a pink candle — so long, boring ol’ sponge cake!

violet-crumble-candy-bars-130908-imAnd after years of anticipation, guess what’s finally back from Down Under! The Violet Crumble, chocolate-covered honeycomb of wonder, has returned for its American (re)debut. Grab a box or two and taste all that you’ve been missing!

Visit our site for even more new candy excitement!

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Festive Fall Favorites!

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It’s not too early to start talking about fall, right? We know the leaves have yet to start cascading from the trees, and the air hasn’t quite attained that certain crisp chill we often associate with scarf-and-sweater weather. But the perfect autumn candy table needs some careful planning, and if you were looking to celebrate a fall wedding, a thanksgiving party, or just the turning of the seasons, then listen up! We’ve got the candy you need to turn your autumn décor into so much more.

mms-candy-autumn-130105-emIf you’re designing a candy buffet, remember: start out with the basics, like theme-appropriate candy bowls. These sweet ceramic leaf dishes are a fancy way to store all your favorite fall treats. And if woodland creatures are more your style, then go ahead and trust this friendly squirrel to watch over your candy collection!

It’s always a clever decision to stick to season appropriate colors — reds, yellows, and browns reminiscent of falling leaves are certain to do! These M&M’s Harvest Blend chocolates look quite fetching in a fall candy bowl, and foil wrapped Autumn Hershey’s with Almonds will complement them quite nicely.
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Speaking of leaves, why not include some of those as well? These hard candy lollipops are shaped like maple leaves, and delicious to boot. Or opt for some of these foiled delicacies — they look like foliage, but taste like delicious dark chocolate!

There’s far more where that came from — check out our other Autumn candies here!

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Too Old for PEZ? Who Says!

Good-vs-Evil2PEZ-line-02pez-disney-princess-127111-emIf staging a battle between Hello Kitty and Darth Vader sounds like something that could only occur in a parallel universe, then it’s about time you acquaint yourself with the universe of PEZ marvel-pez-126084-em! Unless your bowl of mints can double as an awesome collectible, or your figurine collection has learned how to feed you candy, then nothing quite compares to the wonder of a PEZ head. Best of all? We’ve got plenty! Check out some of our favorites below!

Visit our video section to check out all the PEZ action! They’re the next big thing… and we seriously mean BIG. These Giant PEZ Heads measure over a foot tall, and each holds up to 12 rolls of candy. Watch as Hello Kitty shows off her dance moves, and Darth Vader shows off some heavy breathing skills!

kiss-pez-candy-131440-emWhether you’re a fan of Disney Princesses or Marvel Superheroes, the music of KISS or the sweet voice of Minnie Mouse, there’s a PEZ collection to suit every fancy.

Want more? Check out all our PEZ candies here!

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